American Views Abroad


Saturday, January 28, 2006
 
I am a Murderer

I am a Murderer (1929)

By Kurt Tucholsky (German original at www.sudelblog.de)
Translation by Indie

"I, Ignaz Wrobel, love cheating the conductor on the bus, then I can ride for nothing. I have a violent temper: twice I ripped my bath robe to shreds, just to punish it; slashed ties; slammed a glass to the floor. I can't stand the sight of blood. Actually: I can stand the sight of blood, of animals. A strange feeling - not pleasant; well, yes, pleasant, I hesitate to say it, pleasant. I've often loved two women, they knew nothing of one another, but I knew. Once at one in the morning I had a strange impulse: I lay near Conrad on the sofa, we were talking about women, when I began to tremble, I wanted to touch him. I didn't do it - I was afraid of being ridiculous, nothing more. Now and again I have bloody dreams. I eat irregularly - sometimes nothing for days, then excessively. I'm unsound - I'm afraid of diseases, otherwise I'd go out every few days and talk to a girl on the street corner. I'm a coward and malicious: I spilled ink into my cousin's new hat, ripped my mother's lace handkerchief - later, with the most harmless expression: "No idea. My goodness. . . completely torn! Oh, it's ruined." - I like to listen when a couple makes love. Also when they hit each other. I lie for the sake of lying, with heart beating fast, whether it will come out. Most of the time it doesn't come out. I'm very good at lying. I hate my father. As a boy I had to do with my brother and afterwards wanted to beat him terribly, but he was stronger. I live irregular . . . I said that already. What is it all?"

"Nothing special. Look around you - : every single person carries some package small or large around with them . . . everyone has it. They have a spiritual hump of which they're ashamed. No matter how naked someone undresses before you - : they won't show you that. Sometimes not even themselves. It's nothing special."

"It's nothing special - ? I have nothing to fear - ?"

"It's nothing special. You have nothing to fear. Unless -"

"- ?"

"Unless you stand before a court of law. Unless some heavy suspicion falls upon you because of some deed that you deny. Then . . ."

"- ?"

"Then . . . all these facts you told me become something different. Then they are no longer the anomalies that every judge, every prosecuting attorney, every juror, every foreman could feel as a seed in themselves, if they would only be honest. Then, my friend, it's an entirely different matter."

"What . . . what is it then -? If they all have it?"

"Things like that don't exist in a courtroom. They all play a life that they don't have; a morality they don't possess; a purity of which no man is capable. Children in their Sunday best suddenly can't comprehend that specks of dirt exist in the world. Then all of a sudden these little characteristics become something new -"

"And what - ?"

"Evidence, Mr. Wrobel."



"- and that is why their verdict can only be: The accused is sentenced to death."

-----------------

Special thanks to Tony Murphy for kind permission to use his photo. You may view his entire gallery here. Thankful acknowledgement goes also to Alice of Wonderland or Not, for helping to locate the accompanying photo.

Another special thanks to Indie of kurttucholsky.blogspot.com for allowing us to post his translation of Kurt Tucholsky's "Ich bin ein Moerder" which originally appeared in "Deutschland, Deutschland ueber alles" (1929). You can learn more about Kurt Tucholsky by reading this Wikipedia entry. The original text may be read at the German language Kurt Tucholsky blog: www.sudelblog.de.

Comments:
Yes, I think that works well.
This one seemed Kafkaesque to me. Did he know Kafka?
 
I had to look this up. The Wikipedia has this to say:

When he was at university, Tucholsky's main interests remained that of literature. Thus he travelled to Prague in September 1911 with his friend Kurt Szafranski in order to surprise his favourite author Max Brod with a visit and a model landscape that he had made himself. After meeting Tucholsky, Brod's friend and fellow author Franz Kafka had this to say about him in his diary:

"... a wholly consistent person of 21. From the controlled and powerful swing of his walking stick which gives a youthful lift to his shoulders to the deliberate delight in and contempt for his own literary works. Wants to be a defence lawyer, ..."

So they did meet. The German Wikipedia goes on to note:

Zu seinen Verdiensten auf diesem Gebiet (Literaturkritik) gehört es, als einer der ersten auf das Werk Franz Kafkas aufmerksam gemacht zu haben. Als „tief und mit den feinfühligsten Fingern gemacht“ beschrieb er bereits 1913 Kafkas Prosa in dessen Erstlingswerk Betrachtung. Den Roman Der Process bezeichnete er in seiner Rezension als das „das unheimlichste und stärkste Buch der letzten Jahre“.

The gist of it is that Tucholsky was one of the most influential literary crtics of his time, while writing for the Weltbühne.
And was one of the first persons to draw attention to Kafka as early as 1913. He recognized "The Process" as one of "the most eerie (or uncanny) and strongest books of the last years."
--
Also, thanks to AVA for posting my translation here. I will repost it later at my Tucholsky blog, but for now, this is a world exclusive!
 
I love that. My kind of poetry and the translation reads like it was written by an English poet. My curiousity is piqued, my interest roused, not aroused, yes! Aroused!

OK, not aroused. But more than piqued.
 
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